Disclaimer: The following article has not been edited. I do that to encourage you to also speak your mind. It is time to step through your fear and into your voice.
The shootings that have happened in our schools, on our college campuses, in our theaters, at our gas pumps, and in the open spaces of Las Vegas have nothing to do with gun control. The act of horrible violence that tears our loved ones away from us is not about the gun. It is about the fact that hurt people hurt people. It is about the fact that pain isolates and when you are isolated you are separate from others. When the world is viewed through that lens of disconnection, you can perpetuate savagery against those who are different from you.
This colossal problem of hurt people committing mass murder will not be solved by passing more laws or adding more restrictions. You will only solve it by helping people heal their pain. We must teach our children, spouses, neighbors, and coworkers to deal with emotions appropriately.
The first step is to remember we are all human beings that bleed when we’re cut and hurt when we’re labeled different from everyone else. We have a need to be part of the group while at the same time needing to stand out. There is a fine line between rebel and outcast. Many can band together as rebels but nobody wants to be an outcast.
While pain isolates, love connects. We start healing the pain by accepting who we are. We need to be able to strive for a better body while concurrently loving who we are. We have become a land of people who try to numb ourselves with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, violence, movies, music, and video games. Anything we can to just stop the hurting for even a little while.
I invite you to take one small step today to start your healing. I invite you to write down on a piece of paper one thing that is causing you grief. Get out a writing utensil and something to write on. Start with, “I feel ______________ (hurt, sad, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed – pick one) because …”
Let the words flow. Let them come up and out of you so you can get them away and out of your life.
Once you are done writing, take what you have written and shred it or tear it into little pieces, burn it or flush it down the toilet. Do something to get those painful feelings out of and away from you.
Step two is to put in the good. Write about what is good in your life. Write about your incredible dreams for the future. Write about what you desire. Write about what you love; what gives you joy and lifts you up. Write about what you are grateful for. There is so much to be appreciative of. You may be thinking; “Jeanie, you don’t know what I’m going through right now. You have no idea what I’m dealing with.” The only thing that matters in that case is that you are alive and you have the power to change your circumstances. To go deeper into that subject you can pick of many books there are so many that can help you. Of course, I recommend my best-selling book Bully Proofing You: Improving Confidence and Personal Value from the Inside Out.
Whatever you focus on gets bigger, so focus on what is right with you. Put emphasis on happy. I’m not saying to ignore the bad. I’m saying to spend time looking at what is right. I’m saying choose to enjoy things again. I’m saying to fall in love with who you are and where you’re going.
Step three is to repeat steps one and two daily. Take a moment and be grateful for what you have. Take the time to smile at yourself and others. Take the time connect on a deeper level with other humans. If you’re not ready for people, find a pet that you can love and enjoy companionship with.
Take a moment and write down the hurtful feelings you are having so you can get them out of you and away from you. Get out the toxic festering yuck inside of you so you can heal.
Learn to manage your emotions so they don’t manage you.
You have just learned how to stop the violence. Some of you will not do it because it is to simple. Some of you are addicted to the hate and anger and like others to feel the same way. Some of you will take what you have learned and change your life and the lives of your loved ones.
Those mighty souls that have the courage to make a difference are the ones I write for. You are the person that will make the difference. You are the citizen who will change the world. You are the one responsible for stopping the violence and you did it with a writing utensil.
Yes, my friend, the pen is mightier than the sword always.
Thank you for your time and have a blessed day.