Category: Uncategorized

03 Feb 2015

How to Keep Moving Forward

When you have a humungous goal or dream, you have to start now and stick to it. Everyday take a step. Hummingbird steps count also. How do you do that? Last week I told you about “now” bites. Remember? That is how.

My goal for this year is to exercise five times a week. When I became a professional speaker, my lifestyle changed. I spend much of my day in the office making calls or working on the computer. When I was a teacher, I taught Physical Education and coached basketball. I was very active. I made the decision to focus on my speaking career and let the exercise go.

I have now developed some habits that are helping me with the professional speaking. I have learned a great deal, and I feel more comfortable in getting back to some of my old habits like exercising. I just completed the month of January with six workouts per week.

I was able to do it by asking myself these questions.

  1. What do I want by next year?
  2. What action steps do I need to take to get there?
  3. What do I need to do right now?

I decided I wanted to get rid of 25 pounds of fat, have more endurance, and be able to lift weights again. I was a body builder in my twenties and loved the way it felt to push myself that hard. I also spent 8 hours a day in the gym. I know I don’t want to be what I was then because I don’t want to spend that much time exercising. I am walking on the treadmill three times a week and lifting weights the other three.

It felt horrible when I started because all I could think about was what I use to do. I reminded myself that everyone must start where they are and right now because of my past decisions, I found myself out of shape and weak.

In one month I have been able to increase the incline and speed on the treadmill. I now walk for 45 minutes at 7.5-8.5% incline and a 4.0 mph pace. I have gone from curling 10 lbs. dumbbells to 20 lbs. I now bench press 25 lbs. dumbbells. I’m not even close to what I use to do, but it feels great to be making progress. I have also decreased my body fat by 2.4 pounds.

Every morning I had to make a decision about what I wanted. I always get what I want I just have to remind myself what I really want some mornings. Do I want to stay in bed or get up and create the person I want to see in the mirror? The decision is all mine.

The action steps I took are:

  1. I work out a minimum of five times a week first thing in the morning when I get up. I perform activities that increase my cardiovascular endurance, strength, and flexibility.
  2. I made the decision every morning to get up and exercise.
  3. I weigh myself once a month and keep track of how many calories I burn and how much weight I lift.

I let the action become a habit. The habit takes care of my goal. I don’t worry about what I’m eating or how much I have to lift for that day I just get up and start working out. If I lay in bed thinking about what I have to do or how much I have to lift, I don’t want to get up.

I break each step into “now” bites. Right now, I need to get up. Right now, I need to get my exercise cloths on. Right now, I need to get my water. If I’m on the treadmill I take a book to read. Right now, I need to go down stairs and start my workout. Once I’ve started the rest is easy.

Just to recap:

  1. Decide what you want.
  2. Decide what action you need to take.
  3. Focus on what you need to do right now.

Time passes use it to make your world a better place by doing what you love and need to do.

Have an off the charts day,

19 Jan 2015

Dreamer vs. Achiever

Are you a dreamer or an achiever? Well, I hope you’re both. You need to dream before you can achieve. It’s just that some people get stuck in the dreamer stage. It happens; I understand. There are many parking spaces on this road called life. Have you been in one for a while now? Is it time to move on? Remember the first step to change is awareness. What have you become aware of lately that you feel you need to change? Would you like some help with that? Wonderful! I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some. I’d love to be of service.

Step One: Start with a dream. Get emotional about it. See this new life through your own eyes. Imagine the sounds you would hear while living every day. What kind of food would you eat? Do you have fresh flowers on the table? What do they smell like? Are you on the beach? Feel the sea breeze and smell the salty air. Get as many senses into your dream as you can. Make it real, live it in your mind, make it colorful and vibrant, put music to it. Every day live this dream for a few moments. I live mine in the morning. It reminds me of why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Step Two: Have you tried to make this dream a reality before? If so, what stopped you? If not, what other dreams have passed you by and what stopped you then? If you know what has stopped you in the past, you can make a plan to overcome it this time. Take a few moments and set up some ideas on how you will overcome the obstacles that are coming your way. Trust me they are on the way. I don’t know why people say it is so easy. IT’S NOT! It will take work. You will have to push through fear. You are going to blow your comfort zone apart. If you want something new, you have to be willing to do new things. Make a plan for what you’re going to do to keep moving forward. It increases your chances of taking action but you still have to implement the plan when adversity comes along.

Step Three: Follow someone who has gone before. When you ask someone for advice, you save yourself time and effort. The key is asking the right people. You must ask of those that have created what you want to create. Everyone has advice to give, and they truly want to help. If they haven’t walked the path, they can’t be your guide. They’re just guessing like you are. You can guess and “what if” yourself all day long; you need someone who can tell you how it really is.

Step Four: Take your first step. Then another, and another, and another, and another. You get the point. Everyday keep stepping. Everyday take action. Everyday counts. When I was a personal trainer, I found that the clients who came to the gym six or seven days a week did much better long term than the ones that came only three. Why? Because they created the habit of working out. If you only do something part of the time, it becomes very easy to stop full time. When you move forward every day, you build momentum and you are more likely to run right through pitfalls as they pop up. Remember, humming bird steps count too. It doesn’t matter how small the step it matters that you have the courage to take that step.

Step Five: Keep your eye on your dream. Keep it close to you. Let it pull you into the future you are creating every day with your decisions and actions. Use it as fuel to keep your fire burning. Get emotional about what you want and why you want it. Emotion is energy in motion so use it. When you get scared, ask yourself. “What am I focused on?” Is it your dream or the obstacles? My guess is it’s the problems. Refocus on your dreams and move forward again.

Step Six: Celebrate your wins and be grateful for the many blessings you have. It feels so good to have a grateful and glad heart. Take time to see how far you’ve come and give thanks. We do the Snoopy dance here. It’s free and burns calories. Pick something you enjoy and make sure you celebrate your wins. Celebrate the fact that you are one step closer. Now is all the time you have so, right now take action and celebrate the fact that you did. When you feel like lying in bed and sucking your thumb, get up and take action then celebrate and give thanks for what you have accomplished.

Step Seven: Repeat and ask for help if you find yourself off track. Small adjustments are easier than big ones so make them when you realize you need to. Don’t wait until it becomes a stronger habit. Make the correct habit from the start so you don’t have to change it. Measure, monitor, and adjust and keep moving forward. You got this. I know you do. So many have already gone before, you’re not alone. There are people on the path you just have to find them. Keep your chin up and your eyes focus on what you want and you will make it.

Maybe step seven has a bunch of little steps in there, but you understand. You can have anything you want; you just have to remember what it is you truly want and move toward it– sometimes on your belly.

Drill Sargent Young was right. Learning how to low crawl can save your life.

Take action and enjoy the journey.

Have a very successful week, and I’ll talk with you soon,

23 Dec 2014

The Calm

I love the calm of the early morning before anyone wakes up and the house is quite. Last night it snowed. For some reason I have not spent the time to figure out yet, when it snows a peace lays over me and I feel love. As I write this, I’m listening to George Winston’s December. I love his piano solos. I came in contact with his music in college. I could listen to it all day. In fact, I do many days. It also calms my spirit.

I know that many people feel rushed this time of year. They feel pressure to get the perfect gift, to attend parties, to have everything go as planned. I had a friend tell me the other day, “Relax, nothing is in control.” I use to be so in control of everything; my emotions, my house, what I ate. That is part of the reason I enjoyed the military so much. There was a place for everything and everything in its place.

Awhile back, two friends stopped by to see me when I was stuck at home because of a blood clot in my leg. They had never been to my home so I was showing them around. When I showed them the pantry, they were shocked. My cans of food were all lined up with the labels facing out. My house was GI as they say. BOY have I changed.

When my daughter, Erin, was young we use to fight because she would move things and not put them back. It drove me crazy. Then one day she brought home a poem.

“FINGERPRINTS”

Sometimes you get discouraged,
because I am so small
And leave my little fingerprints
On furniture and walls.
But everyday I’m growing
And soon will be so tall
That all these little fingerprints
Will be difficult to recall.
So here’s a little handprint
That you can put away
So you will know how my fingers looked
On this special day.

Author: Unknown
Read more at http://www.scrapbook.com/poems/doc/5772.html#C6jP78jlfUXC5Ckw.99

This poem changed my life. That was when I started becoming the person I am now. I made some major changes. It has not always been easy but it has always been worth it. I can now sit and write my newsletter in the calm even though my home is a mess. I haven’t dusted for some time or swept the floors and I am at peace because spending time with each other is more important.

Last night we stayed up until 2:30 am watching movies because Max wanted to spend more time with us. All because of another poem that changed my life. You can find it here http://www.cathye.com/momjustfortoday.htm

Now you know why I can sit and be calm; because, I choose too. Because I have decided life and living is more important than a clean house. Because God is in the calm. He is there waiting for us to just slow down and connect with Him. Life is meant to be lived. You need to enjoy each moment. Find your calm and live there. When you find you are slipping out, find ways to get it back. It really is a better way to live. I know I’ve done it.

Take care and live in peace.

Have a blessed Christmas and remember you are loved. You are valuable. You are needed in this time and space.

Merry Christmas.

09 Dec 2014

What are your triggers?

I grew up in Washington state on a dairy farm, and for me Christmas time is rain. I’ve lived in Utah for over 30 years which is longer than I lived in Washington. However, whenever it rains, I think of Christmas. I guess you could say rain is a trigger for me. What are your triggers? What brings memories, emotions, and states of being to the front of your mind?

There is a shampoo; I don’t recall the name right now, but every time I smell it, I’m back in basic training. I use instrumental music and candles to help me focus on writing. I use the snoopy dance to anchor in wins. I use Eye of the Tiger to motivate me and keep me moving forward.

When I want to change my mental state, I change my physical state. It works but, I’m sure you already knew that. My question is, how to I become aware more quickly of my need to change?

I’m sick right now. I have a sore throat, cough, runny nose that kind of thing. I haven’t been sick for almost two years. The last time was January 2013. I use to get sick a lot. Then a very dear friend told me that sickness can start as a mental thing. He was never sick so, I paid attention– after I told him he was crazy!

I think that the immune system starts with a healthy and strong mind. I had feelings of overwhelm, fear, and loss last week so I think that part of the reason I am sick now. We are constantly surrounded by germs. There is no way to get away from them. I don’t mean to scare you if you are afraid of these kinds of things. I’m just stating the facts. So, if we are immersed in bacteria all the time, why aren’t we sick all the time? I believe it has to do with the mind and our triggers.

I need to be aware of the negative so I can deal with it. I need to focus on the positive so I keep moving toward my dreams. I need to be aware of mental drain and rejuvenate myself. I know I need to take time for myself. I need to check in and take care of me first so I can take care of others. Sometimes I lose sight of the forest for the trees.

The first step is to change awareness, and I just made myself aware. I will also ask for support from those closest to me. My taking care of myself gives them permission to take care of themselves. I’m human, and I made some mistakes last week. The best thing for me to do is learn from them so I don’t repeat them and keep moving forward. Measure, monitor, and adjust so I don’t beat myself up over mistakes anymore.

The best thing is to learn from others so you don’t have to make the mistake. I hope you have learned from me this week and have found value in my mistake.

Stay healthy and strong. Keep moving forward. Enjoy life. Be blessed.

Take care for now,

19 Nov 2014

The Biggest Bully

Sometimes the biggest bully is the one between your ears. That’s right. I have heard myself and my friends say things to themselves that they are just horrible. This week, let’s talk about how to deal with the bully that lives in your own head.

I lived with mine for years before I realized it was me. I thought it was my conscience telling me what I was doing wrong. I was in my thirties before I realized it was just me attacking myself. I still wrestle with it, but I have learned some things that help me. I want to share them with you.

1. When I realized I am talking down or calling myself names for a mistake I made. I say “Thank you for sharing.”
2. I remind myself that I am loved; I am valuable; I am needed in this time and place.
3. I ask myself, “How could I have done better?”
4. I apply my new-found knowledge

1. When I don’t like my body and say very mean things to myself, I again start with, “Thank you for sharing.”
2. I list 10 things I like about my body and the wonderful things can do because of it.

I made the decision a few years back that it was time to start loving me. That includes my body. I was looking in the mirror telling myself how much weight I had gained. I wished I could have my twenty year old body back. Then all of a sudden, I realized I had said the same thing at twenty. I didn’t like my body then either. I decided it was time to start loving my body.
The things we can do have always fascinated me. That is part of the reason I become a health teacher. I love studying this amazing thing we find our souls housed in. Just spend some time today with yourself thinking of all the wonderful things you can do because you have a body. Compare yourself to yourself, not some ideal society has put forth that can’t be attained without computer touch ups.

Do you have hands and feet? I know people who don’t and can still do more things than I can. Can you read and write? There are people who can’t, but yet they still find a way to get things done. Be thankful for who you are and what you can do. You have special talents that are needed right now, so make sure you use them to their fullest. You do not help this world by playing small.
Take time every day to love and honor yourself. Stop the bully between your ears and live your life to its fullest. It’s better that way. I know. I’ve been there.
Thanks for spending time with me today.
Have a wonderful one,

03 Nov 2014

Keep Moving Forward

I have a confession to make. I almost gave up this week. I spent so much time preparing for some very big events this month, and it was so much fun and so exciting. As you know, the biggest event was when ABC came to my home to video and interview me and a former student.

It started with me getting in contact with some of my former students– thank goodness for Facebook. It was so nice to connect with them and catch up. It felt so good to hear how well they were doing. As a high school teacher, you don’t always know what happens when they graduate and move on. It was so inspiring to hear how they had taken the knowledge I had given them and used it to improve their life. Some of them have been through so much, and yet they have thrived and made dynamic and successful lives for themselves and their families.

That all ended on October 23 and the last few days I have been lost. I did not make my routine 50 cold calls because I didn’t know who to call. I wasn’t sure what to do. Then on Friday I got an email from Mydomain.com telling me I needed to pay for my next year of webhosting. I moved my website to Godaddy.com because I love the customer support. They have helped me so much. I have had problems finding someone to work on my website consistently, and it seems that it keeps falling on my shoulders. I have learned so much over the past two years, but I am not into web design, nor do I want to be. Godaddy is always there to answer questions and help me with my web problems. So I called them to see if I needed to pay or if everything was alright. I wanted to make sure everything was up and running when the ABC interview airs and that there wouldn’t be any problems.

Eric, the tech that helped me, showed me how to view the stats for my sites. One minute I was feeling kind of down and lost wondering if I was reaching people and having an impact outside the classroom. Then I saw how many people have been viewing my websites. It was paradigm shifting to say the least. Bullyproofingyou.com was the one we looked at first. I launched it in February of this year. It has had 5,550 unique visitors, 13,596 visits, 54,660 pages, and 93,289 hits. It was so transformational for me. It is reaching people all over the world. China had 2,460 hits, Ukraine had 957, Brazil had 683, Italy 298, Greece 106, Vietnam 20, It blew my mind. I couldn’t believe it; it had 48 countries listed. I don’t even know where Latvia is. I will remedy that today however. Then we looked at Jeanieciscometh.com. It launched January 2014. It has had 6,645 unique visitors, 15,987 visits, 43,309 pages, and 72,323 hits. Again, countries from all around the globe.

I feel so blessed to know that Bully Proofing You is making a difference. To know the message is getting into the hands of people that need it. It really is all about perspective. Mine shifted big time.

Thanks for listening and sharing in this win with me.

Have an awesome day,

19 Oct 2014

A parent’s fear alleviated.

Part 1 of 4
A parent’s number one fear is making mistakes while raising their children. “What if I’m doing it wrong?” is often a question I get. “How do I improve confidence so they are happier? I’m tired of the long faces and grumpy attitudes.” “I need help. Please help me.”

I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t have all the answers, but I do have quite a few. I’ve had over 23 years as a parent and a high school teacher. As a teacher, I worked with one of the most disadvantaged populations of teens there is. My students had made plenty of bad decisions. Most of them were involved in gangs and drugs. Many were parents with multiple children. About 98% of the students were in state custody. All of them were at risk of never graduating. I learned a great deal working with them and my own children that I have used to help others.

What I would like to talk about today is how to improve confidence and personal value in those you love. Little, low cost steps that will make a world of difference in your relationships with others. Let’s get started.

1. When you are away and heading back home, stop at the convenience store and buy their favorite candy. Leave it with a note that says, “I love you and missed you today.”
2. Put a sticky note on the mirror where they will see it first thing in the morning. Put a smiley face, a thought for the day, your favorite quote or word, or a few words telling them how much you love them.
3. Make their favorite food for dinner and then whisper in their ear, “I made this just for you because I love you the most.” You can tell each of your loved ones you love them the most and will build them up. It doesn’t matter that you say the same thing to all of them because it is true. Your love for each one is just a little bit different. Let the love you feel fill them.
4. Spend time together every day just connecting with each other. Shut off the TV and all other devices at meal times. Talk to one another about the day and what is going on in each other’s lives. We love to spend time each week talking about our dreams, past vacations, and the next family vacation we’re planning. You need to have fun and enjoy one another.
5. Once a week spend a few hours playing a board or card game. They give you time to talk in depth about what is going on. We like strategy or brain teaser games. I think the best skill you can learn is how to solve a problem because that is what life is about. Making things better.
6. Make everyone responsible for something that needs to be done– a chore list if you will. To build confidence, you need to be responsible for something. When you do something well that is needed, it just feels good. Let your loved one know that by taking out the trash they are helping make the home a better more enticing aromatic place.
7. Send them a card in the mail. I don’t always mail it I just place it in the mailbox and ask them to get the mail. Make sure you put it in after the mail carrier comes not before. Just some advice I learned.
8. Say goodbye every time you leave the house. Give them a kiss and a hug. Tell them where you’re going and when you expect to be home. When they start driving and going out, they’ll do the same for you.
9. Tell them how beautiful or handsome you think they are and how glad you are to be their parent.
10. Come up with something you know they’ll like and just do it. Trust your instincts and show your love.

Go spread the love today.

Talk to you soon.

06 Oct 2014

Thank You To A Very Special Person

I want to take time today and thank a very special person. This letter goes out to over 600 people. I want to say thank you to all of you; however, one of you really stands out above all the rest. You see awhile back I started using Mail Chimp to send out my newsletters. Mail Chimp keeps track of everyone for me and gives me a report. As I was going over the report, one person stood out. I didn’t know he was reading my newsletters because he never mentioned them. He has read every one. This letter is for you because of your support and faith in me. I dedicate this to you.

Have you ever heard the song In The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics? I was listening to it the other day, and as tears were streaming down my face, I made the decision to write this letter. Thank you to everyone for allowing me this little indulgence. Maybe you will find a meaning in it as well.

First of all, I want to thank you for listening to the worries of a nervous mother who said something was wrong with her baby. I know how much you hate going to the doctor, but you never hesitated when it came to my care. If they had not caught my cancer so soon, I would never have made it to my first birthday. I want to say thank you for being there and supporting me. For paying the bills and never complaining.

I want to say thank you for buying me Dusty. He and I spent so much time together riding all over the countryside with Laddie by our side. I have no idea if you worried when we were gone, but I bet you did. I do when ever my kids are out of my sight. Maybe that is just me, but I don’t think so. Dusty was a faithful horse and he taught me so many of life’s lessons. Laddie is the reason I love long-haired German Shepherds. Thank you for trusting me and having faith that I would return home after every ride. I could fill a book with all the stories of the DLJ adventures.

I want to thank you for moving us to the farm. I know you wonder if it was the right thing to do. I know I might be showing my selfish side when I say this but for me it was the perfect life. I loved the animals. All of them. Now as I look back, I even enjoyed all the hard work. Not always the cold weather it had to be carried out in, but that taught me to do what needs to be done no matter what. Again I could fill a book with all the lessons I learned on the farm, but that is not the purpose now maybe someday soon.

I want to say thank you for giving me away one more time. This time to Laurence. I’m so glad for both our sakes. I want to say thank you for always being there when I needed advice or a shoulder. I want to say thank you for the guidance and freedom. I want to say thank you for loving me with a depth that has no end.

I remember the surprise trip home over The Blues just so I could see you in my time of need. The look on your face when you walked out of the house and saw me was one of wonder, fear, love, and hope all rolled into one.

MASH is still my favorite show because Hawkeye reminds me of you. I don’t watch it as much as I did in college but I still enjoy it. I know you don’t know how or why I think of you when I see him but I do. Maybe it is his quiet toughness and the advice he gives mixed with the fact that you kind of look like him. I should say he looks like you. I knew you before I knew him.
I want to say thank you for forgiving me when I messed things up. I want to say thank you for being the perfect example of what a parent should be. I want to say thank you for being my dad. I am so proud of you. I am so glad I am your daughter. I am so profoundly touched by you every day and I am grateful for you. I just wanted to take a moment and let you know.
I look forward to many more family reunions. I think we should make the next one in Hawaii. I know how much you love it. I want to go scuba diving with you and the sea turtles.

I love you, Dad.

Thanks for blessing my life.

Your loving daughter,
Me.

15 Sep 2014

Change your reactions to fear.

The following story comes from chapter seven of my book Bully Proofing You.

Think about where the fear comes from. It comes from the fear of possible future pain. When you have a fear-based reaction, you enter what is referred to as the freeze, fight, or flight sympathetic nervous system response. You have no control over the physiological reaction; however, you do have control over your response to the cause. Let me explain by telling you a story.

When I was a young girl growing up on our farm in Washington state, my brother and I had to fill the inside wood box. It wasn’t a difficult task, but it was always nice to have two people performing this particular chore. One of us would get the wood from the woodpile outside, while the other stood at the back door, waiting to bring it the rest of the way into the house. This way we didn’t have to take our shoes off to come in, and the task was completed more efficiently. My brother was always a gentleman and let me remain inside because I don’t like the cold. He also enjoyed making me jump.

We entered the back door of our house through the garage. There was a bathroom door as we stepped into the mud room—it was Washington, after all, and we did live on a farm. Sometimes he liked to step into the bathroom after he handed me the wood. I would drop the wood off in the box and return for more. He would step out of the bathroom door and say, “Boo!” He liked my reaction. Once I jumped so high that I landed on my back and hit my head. He stopped after that. He didn’t want to hurt me. He just liked to hear me scream and see my hair stand on end and my eyes get as big a dinner plates. It was all in fun and it kept my nervous system in top shape.

Flash forward about six years to 1986. I was at Fort Dix, New Jersey, in army basic training. I was walking down the hall in our barracks when Drill Sergeant Young stepped into the doorway. You guessed it: I reacted the way I had been trained. My hair shot up, my eyes got big, and I screamed…to which he replied, “This will never do, Private.”

He spent the next six weeks training me to a new reaction pattern. That was fun. No, really, it was. I could hardly wait to get home and fill the wood box with Robbie.

Flash forward another seven years to 1993 and my teaching job. I was still a new teacher, having only been teaching for two years. I had just started my career at Summit High School. I was in my classroom, grading papers. It was quiet and I thought everyone had gone home. I got up from my desk to go to the restroom. I opened my door and a student was standing there. Once again, I reacted. As I looked at the student lying on the floor, I knew my teaching career was over. I went directly to our counselor at the time and told him what I had done. We returned to my classroom to find the student sitting in a desk. I asked him if he was all right and apologized. The counselor asked him if he wanted to press charges.

“No way, man, it will ruin my rep.” There are so many benefits to working with gang members; I just never knew this would be one. Can you imagine the backlash he would have received? “You got beat up by your teacher? A female teacher?” We never spoke of the incident again.

My career went forward, and he was a well-behaved student. When other students got mouthy, he would step up and say, “You need to sit down and leave her alone.” He was my protector for many years. Students talked about how I was his favorite teacher and you better not mess with me or you had to answer to him. He was one of my favorites too.

I have since changed my reaction once again. However, I still recommend making noise as you approach. It might make the meeting better for both of us.

Thanks for reading.

Have a tremendous day,

01 Sep 2014

Do you know what they’re going through?

I want to share the following story from chapter 5 of my book Bully Proofing You.

An acquaintance of mine, who I’ll call Lisa, told me the following story. As Lisa was riding Trax light-rail public transportation to work one morning, she had an experience that changed her perspective about others. She lived by the hospital and her ride was about forty-five minutes long. She enjoyed riding Trax because she didn’t have to deal with parking, and she could read a good book. She had been on the train for about five minutes when a father got on with his four children who ranged in ages from about ten to three. They all looked like they had slept in their clothes because their clothing was rumpled and dirty. They hadn’t had a shower for a few days and smelled a little ripe.

The children sat quietly for a few moments and then grew restless. They started pushing one another, and then they started talking. As the pushing increased, so did the volume of their voices. The father sat there as though nothing was going on. He never once said anything to his children. Pretty soon the kids were chasing each other around the train. Still the father didn’t say anything.

Other passengers got upset because their day was being disrupted. They were used to riding to work in silence. They’d read, work on their laptops, listen to music, look out the window, or talk quietly with their neighbors. It was usually civilized and mannerly, not like that morning at all. They gave the father and his children looks that said, “What are you doing? Can’t you see you are bothering us?” The father never raised his eyes from the floor and the children had no clue what was going on. The tension continued to mount.

Then one man in a dark blue suit stood up and walked over to the father. You could hear the sigh of relief. Everyone thought the disruption would end. The man in the suit cleared his throat and the father seemed to shake himself and come out of a deep trance. The father looked up at the nicely dressed man with a question in his gaze. The man in the suit asked the father, “Can you not hear and see what your children are doing on this train? You need to control them. They are bothering everyone else.”

The father, with a sad expression on his face, looked at his children with love in his eyes. They immediately quieted down and came to him. He didn’t say a word. He put his arms around them and, with tears running down his face, he said, “We are all out of sorts this morning. I decided to take the train home because I didn’t trust myself to drive. You see, my wife, their mother, died this morning and we just don’t know what we are going to do. I’m sure we’ll figure it out, but for now we just don’t know how we are going to make it.”

The rest of the train ride was quiet. Everyone was lost in thought. Some were glad they didn’t have to face what this family was facing. Some had lost a loved one and knew the difficult road ahead. All of them were changed. Their perspective went from one of annoyance to one of love and empathy for this father and his children in the blink of an eye.

You don’t know what someone is dealing with until you have walked in that person’s shoes. Maybe the person bullying you just needs to be understood and shown a caring heart. You could change that person’s life and make a difference. All it takes is some understanding on your part and some education on the bully’s.

What’s your perspective on the things around you?

Have a paradigm-shifting day,

24 Aug 2014

Discipline vs. Rewards

For as long as I can remember I have had great discipline. I think that is why I enjoyed the Military so much. If you weren’t disciplined, you didn’t make it. Fear of pain is a great motivator for me.

I have learned recently that not everyone works that way. Some people are more attracted by pleasure or rewards. I recently had the honor of being coached by one of my heroes. The amazing and talented man, T. Harv Eker, has changed so many lives for the better, including my life and my family’s. Through his coaching program I am learning how important rewards can be.

When I started, he told us to come up with three actions that would take 20-45 minutes to complete and then a reward for getting them done. I am not use to that. I felt like I was taking advantage of the system. Then I realized I had made the system so I could change it any time I wanted. Yes, I took input from others, but I made the finale decision on the rules and how it would play out.

In the past, I felt like I had to put in 18- hour-days, seven days a week just to be accepted. I had to work for years just to earn a vacation. Now, this guy who I admire so much, who is where I want to be in life, is telling me I’m doing it wrong. I need to step up, take notice, and make a change. My way has gotten me where I am today. His way has gotten him where he is. I like where I am, but it could be better, and that is what I want. So, I decided it is time to make some changes.

The reward for my first week was a Harley ride with my husband. I had asked him beforehand if he would mind helping me with my reward. I have my motorcycle endorsement, but the ride is better with him in charge and me just relaxing and taking it all in. We had a wonderful day. It was fabulous. I hold it in my memory as one of our special days.

I have quite a few special days in my memory, and now I get to sit back, close my eyes, and relive them all over again. They give me a power boost, and I look forward to making the next one. I still have some trouble coming up with rewards but I’m getting better. I wrote a while back about the carrot and the stick; I’m becoming more of a carrot person now.

If you find you are stuck on making the changes you need to, maybe you need to break it into small pieces and give a reward for each piece you finish. Then you have special memories to relive all over again when you need a lift in your attitude.

Go make your life worth living. Go make some wonderful memories. Stop waiting until you have finished the journey and start enjoying the trip.

Find your blessings and live them every day,

17 Aug 2014

School’s just around the corner.

School’s just around the corner

It’s almost time for school to start once again. It snuck up on me this year. Summer just flew by and what a great one it was. The kids are getting ready to go back to school. I know that some of them are dreading it. That is why I wrote Bully Proofing You: Improving Confidence and Personal Value from the Inside Out. I wrote it to empower people who are facing fear every day because of what someone else is saying to them. I never want to hear of another person loosing hope and taking a life, theirs or someone else’s. I saw a need and I filled it.

This amazing book gives hope. It is uplifting and transformational. You will never control what others say, but you can control the way you react to it. If you or someone you love is struggling with self-esteem issues than Bully Proofing You is a must read. If you are having troubles in the workplace due to an aggressive boss or coworker, then Bully Proofing You will create magical change and turn your workplace into a successful environment.

Maybe you just want to improve your confidence so you can try new things or get better at what you are already doing. Bully Proofing You is again the answer. Insight, empowerment, and a practical step by step action plan to help you create a phenomenal earth shattering positive change in your life.

Change happens every day.  Why not use it to make your life spectacular! Go to www.bullyproofinyou.com to order your copy today, and I will give you a second one free. I will also give you a free downloadable workbook that you can use as many times as you like. Enjoy your copy, and give one to someone in need. It is time to create tremendous off-the-charts change for the better in the lives of those around us. Click the link www.bullyproofingyou.com or send me an email at Jeanie@jeanieciscometh.com. Do it now. Thank you.

Thank you for making the world an outstanding place.

Have a phenomenal day,