The Human Effect
Did you know that a human cannot hurt another human? It’s true. Humans can only hurt objects or things. You can lash out in pain to defend yourself but people don’t hurt other people. Many adults and young people have forgotten the human effect.
We must remember that everyone is human. We are doing the best we can with what we know and understand. We have others we love and dreams we want to live. We protect those we love and fear predators. We have the ability to put labels on everything.
When I call you a name, in my mind you become what I just called you. Advertising and movies do this all the time. The hero is justified in destroying the bad guy because he is bad. He is no longer human. The person advertising the product becomes the product. They become an object.
How do we get back to the human effect? We remember to have empathy. Empathy is putting yourself in that person’s shoes. If you can view a bully as a person in pain, you can deflect the attack. You won’t allow the words to impact you because you know they are not about you or your family. The attack is about the bully expressing pain and despair. It’s a cry for help. Maybe the bully doesn’t know any better and just needs to be educated. When you feel empathy for the bully, you will not be as impacted by what is said. You are less likely to feel bad about yourself or to try and retaliate. Retaliation makes it worse.
If your self-esteem is not strong enough to withstand some words from an angry person, then spend some time building it up. I gave many tips and tools on how to accomplish that in the first part of my book. When you have a healthy self-image, you have an attitude that things will be all right. You realize that whatever the bully said to hurt or intimidate you is not true, and you move on. You’re glad it’s not your life that is hopeless. Your attitude is one of faith and hope for the future. The bully’s is one of despair and fear. Have some compassion for the bully and come from a place of love for your fellow man.
Your ability to care for others can grow like a muscle you exercise. Practice acceptance of others and you will get better at it. Remember when you’ve had a bad day and cut them some slack. When you do have a bad day, pull yourself up by sharing your love with someone else. When you help someone, you help yourself. Sit by someone new at lunch, or help someone without asking for anything in return. The rewards you receive are priceless. When you give freely, your spirit will lift and your heart will be full.
Share your love today.