You Don’t Have To Struggle To Be Successful
You don’t have to struggle to be successful.
“What?” You ask. Well, at least you think that if you’re like me.
When my mentor first told me this years ago, I rejected it. I didn’t believe it at all. Now over the last few months, that seed he planted is starting to take root. It’s just a little delicate thing right now but I hope to tend it and let it grow into a powerful source in my life very shortly.
You may be in cognitive dissidence at this moment. You may be saying, “No, struggle means hard by it’s very definition.”
If you look up struggle in the dictionary it says, “1. make strenuous efforts to overcome an adversary. 2. proceed with great effort.”
So, you would be right. I know; now, you’re really confused. Stay with me here.
My new mentor explained things to me in a different way. She said the struggle comes from the emotion I attach to the effort.
It took me a moment at well.
It finally fell into place yesterday. Let me explain.
Let’s say I’m at the gym lifting weights. I’m curling the 20 lbs. dumbbell. I’m grunting and groaning with my face all contorted in the pain and effort. You might look at me and say, “Oh my gosh! She is working really hard.” To which I would agree, and I would feel good that you saw my struggle, recognized it, and gave me the gold star on my forehead I so desperately wanted. I wanted you to feel that way about what I was doing. I wanted you to give me credit for working “so hard”. I wanted your sympathy.
What if I was standing there lifting the 20 lbs. dumbbell with no outward sign of struggle? Would you think I was working hard or just goofing off? Most people would think I was just slacking and should lift more weight. You certainly wouldn’t give me gold star for my “struggle”.
Unless you asked me, you would have no idea how hard I was really working.
I was so addicted to the gold stars from people that I made everything a struggle. I wanted people to think I was strong because I was dealing aka lifting so much. I wanted recognition for my struggle. In fact, I think I wanted the acknowledgement more than my success. Powerful realization.
Now, I am working on staying calm and focused on what I want and not worrying what others are thinking about it. I know how hard or easy it is. I know what I am creating. I know what my future will look like.
I don’t want sympathy. I want success. How about you?
Have a fantastic day,