A Time For Everything: The Many Degrees Of Love
The Many Degrees of Love
Part 2 of 4
There is a time for everything. As I was thinking about what to write today, I wasn’t sure. Now I know. If you have met my husband and I, you know we are very much in love and have the kind of relationship most people only dream of. We are best friends, partners, lovers; a team making the pull through life easier. We have been married over 12 years, and I have loved every minute of it. There is never a moment when I wish things were different. I am so glad I have him in my life.
One thing you may not know is we have both been married before. In fact, we have both been married twice before. This is our third marriage each. The odds of finding a lasting fulfilling relationship after a second divorce are less than 20%. I’m sure you know that ½ of marriages end in divorce. There isn’t as much of a negative context for one divorce. However, you add in two and a child from each marriage and the situation gets stickier.
I have been carrying that “sticky guilt” with me for some time. I just started with a new coach, and I filled out a pre-coaching survey with her. When I came to the question about things I have accomplished that I’m proud of, I put “Having the courage to get divorced a second time so I could find Laurence.” It stunned me at first. Then peace rolled over me and I felt blessed because I truly am.
When Laurence and I were first married, people told us we were lucky. I would nod and say, “Yes, we are.” Then I got fed up and started telling people, “No, we’re not. We designed this life. I figured out what I needed and wanted and would NOT settle for less.” We knew blending four children and four ex-spouses would not be easy. We knew it would be challenging. We also knew it would be worth it. We believed we could create the dream we had in our hearts and our minds, and we did.
I don’t know what kind of a relationship you find yourself in, but if it is not the one you want or desire. FIX IT. I don’t know what that means for you. I don’t know what your future holds. If you don’t change, it won’t change. To get something new you must become someone new. If you decide to make changes, your life will be different. You decide how different.
There is a time for everything. Maybe it’s time to get mad and make some changes. Life is too short to be lived in fear, pain, confusion, or despair. You hold the keys to your future. Maybe it is time to close the door on the past and open a new one on your future.
There is support for whatever lies ahead for you, but you must take the first steps on your own.
Sometimes loving means letting go.
To your prosperity and future, I lift a glass and say, ”You are loved. You are valuable. You are needed in this time and space. It is time to start living the life you were meant to live. Step into your power and live life on God’s terms which just might be saying it’s time to separate.”
Enjoy your day,