The Body I Created With My Mind
The following was a part of my upcoming book that got cut and landed on the editing floor. I think it still has great value and I wanted to share it with you. It also shows the effort and caliber of this new book. If this story got cut, just think of the others that got the green light.
I have had to overcome a very negative voice between my ears when it comes to my body. When I was in my twenties, I hated my legs, and convinced myself that I had a good reason to. I have had varicose veins since I was twenty-three. The veins on my legs stuck out and could be red, swollen, and painful. I also have had spider veins for many years, so it can look like I have large bruises. Every time I glanced down at my legs, I cringed. I had just gotten divorced and was thinking of starting to date.
Yuck! the bully started in as I gazed at my reflection one morning when I was in my thirties.. No one will ever get past your ugly legs. You better cover them up. What will people say when you go to the beach? They’re never going get past those dreadful things. Don’t show anyone until they have had a chance to get to know you better. Those legs are a deal breaker for sure. Run away!
Really? “Run-away”? I started giggling at the ridiculousness of my hurtful thoughts. I stepped back and looked at how I had been treating myself. I asked the voice in my head a very powerful question: “How can I get someone to love being in my space if I hate being in mine so much?”
That’s a good question, my bully replied. It’s kind of a double standard, isn’t it?
I realized this was true and told myself to recognize how amazing the body could be. . . even if I felt mine was lacking.
Haven’t I done so much for you? my body spoke up inside my head. What about the remarkable feat of creating another human inside of you? Doesn’t that deserve some respect?
I frowned, unable to dispute this fact. When I thought about being a mom and how much I loved my children, a new realization hit me: my body was unbelievable, creating the miracle of life. It was downright astonishing, in fact!
I did that! Me, your body. Can I get a thank you?
“Thank you!” I said aloud, smiling at myself in the mirror for one of the first times in a long time. “A thousand times, thank you.”
You’re welcome, my body said back. We, your body systems, would like to have more love and respect. We do so much for you and we are tired of the way you treat us. Everyone else was ready to go on strike. You know, shut down? But I, your marvelous mind, convinced them to give you another chance. You’re a loving, kind person, just not to yourself. I told them if we alerted you to the fact that you weren’t being very considerate of us, you would change your ways. Am I correct in assuming so?
I felt a wave of gratitude rush over me; if I didn’t love and respect my body, one day it could indeed shut down on me. I thought of my children and extended family, my friends, and all the amazing things I wanted to do. . . all of which I couldn’t accomplish without the amazing body I was given.
I love my life and I love my body, I thought confidently. I love my hair and my eyes. I know I am the perfect size for the things I need to do.
That was the start of my first “100 things I love about my body” list. The pleasure and joy I now have is vastly different than my life before. I would like to invite you to heal the relationship you have with your body. Think about the number one complaint you have with your body. Now, what would happen if you no longer had that body part or system?
I use to complain about being fat. Even when I didn’t have any extra body fat, I still called myself fat. Crazy, I know, but guess what? Now, I have extra body fat. Did I speak that into my future? Did I create that? Definitely something to consider.
Let me know what you come up with.
Have a beautiful day,