Was It A Bully Hummingbird?
Have you ever seen a hummingbird with scarcity thinking? I have or at least I think I have. I don’t really speak hummingbird so I could be wrong.
The other morning, I was relaxing in my hot tub which is located in my back yard enjoying the incredible sunrise. It’s so peaceful which allows my creative juices to flow.
I had just finished my third book and sent it to the editors so it was celebration, contemplation time.
I heard the faint sound of whirring wings and looked over at the hummingbird feeders. A tiny female was enjoying a sugary breakfast. All of a sudden, I saw a flash of movement as another hummingbird raced onto the seen with crazy chittering and chased the first bird off.
I expected the second hummingbird to return to the feeder to drink. She didn’t.
I thought, she’s a bully. It seemed to fit. I’m just saying.
The bully hummingbird proceeded to chase and challenge. Never getting anything herself. I started thinking.
I applied my usual question to her; “Why would a reasonable rational person (hummingbird in this case) behave this way?”
I applied my years of expertise working with people to help them bully proof themselves. I realized, if she was human, she just might be thinking, “There’s not enough! I have to get mine first or there won’t be any for me.” So, she acted on that belief. She chased and bullied others thinking it would help her.
I never did see her get a drink. The other hummingbirds did. They would come back and drink as she was chasing someone else. Getting what they could until she rapidly returned to start the chase all over again.
There are so many teaching points I could identify here but I want to share just three.
- Hurt people hurt people or in this case hummingbirds. When we focus on limiting beliefs, we become more limited. We are more likely to lash out and try to grab what we think is our fair share. Never thinking of the consequences of our actions because the pain and fear is overwhelming and when emotion is high intelligence is low. Even for hummingbirds it would seem.
- When I try to control others, I lose control of myself. I chase all over draining and depleting my resources. Without resources, my business dies. I die. I’m in business to help and serve others and if I let that die, I’m doing them a disservice. I need to apply my assets to expanding so I can assist more people.
- Others are watching. The world is full of cameras and eyes and you never know who you’re going to see or who is going to see you. One act of bad behavior due to your emotional cup being full and overflowing can cost you everything.
The world is full of emotional people behaving badly and they’re not just hurting themselves but many others around them. There is hope. Managing your emotions is easy once you learn how. It’s not your fault. You might never have learned how to do it or maybe you knew how at one point but forgot about it. Emotional management is needed daily. Just like going to the gym. It’s not a one and done kind of thing.
The best why I have found to manage my emotions is to deal with them as they happen or during scheduled time. I use a tool I like to call write and burn.
Step 1. Grab a piece of paper.
Step 2. Divide it down the middle.
Step 3. Put I feel __________ because … on the left side. Fill in the blank with the negative emotion you are feeling.
Step 4. Write out why you feel angry, sad, depressed, frustrated, disappointed, crunchy, ticked off, embarrassed, hurt, etc. whatever it was you wrote in the blank.
Step 5. Tear it off and burn it, shred it, just get rid of it. My preference is burning. I like watching it burn up and turn to ash. Audible sigh of contentment here.
Step 6. On the other half of the paper begin with I feel __________ because … and now write out all of your positive feelings. Some examples are grateful, happy, excited, joyful, loved, special, strong, sexy, contented, etc.
Step 7. Keep the right side.
Step 8. Read it often. I keep them for a week so I’m reading seven positive lists at a time.
I use this tool to help me deal with my negative emotions appropriately so I don’t allow my pain to overflow on others. If more people were emptying their emotional cups more often, we wouldn’t have so many outbreaks of violence.
I invite you to start using this tool to improve and upgrade your life. I know you’ll love it so much you’ll want to share it with others. Please do.
Let’s change the world. Together we are strong. Please stand with me in managing your emotions so we can leave the world a little better every day.
Have a blessed day my friends.