Beshauna Barber, Miss USA 2016, admits she was bullied.

Zac Efron was bullied as a teenager.

Tyler Swift had some problems in Junior High with other girls bullying her.

Demi Lavato talks about her struggles with being bullied that led to her being an ambassador for an anti-bullying campaign.

Taylor Lautner had issues with bullies as well.

If you are being bullied, you are in great company. The list is extremely long of people who have been bullied and not only survived but thrived.

You may feel alone. Like you’re the only one going through tough times. You are not alone nor will you ever be.

The four steps to follow to bully proof yourself are:

1. Increase your personal value – Believe in yourself. It is a decision you make and action you take. Make the decision that you are important. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here. The miracle of birth is just that. A miracle. You are perfect just as you are.
2. Change your perspective – Look at things differently. If you feel bad, compare yourself to someone else. You have a right leg because you have a left leg. There is up because there is down. If you feel short, find someone shorter to stand next to. If you feel tall, you got it, find someone taller. Mark Eaton is 7’ 4”. Believe me you’re short compared to him.
3. Plan some responses – One liners you can use in bullying situations. When you’re stressed or emotional, you can’t think. Bring the emotion down and you can think again. That is why you want to have some short one liners you can use when you get in an emotional situation. Remember to have them prepared for when you bully yourself. People are more critical of themselves than others.
4. Practice. People practice everything they want to get better at. Athletes will spend hours to get a fraction better. The extra degree; that little bit more, makes all the difference. Measure, monitor, and adjust as you go along. The best way to stop a bully is to ask them a question. What did you have for breakfast? What is your favorite color? What are you doing this weekend? People are programed to answer questions. When asked a question, you move into your thinking brain the cerebrum. People bullying because they are reacting to the negative things in their life and many times because it is a habit. They are not thinking about what they are doing. Get them out of their reactive brain and into their thinking brain and they stop bullying. Practice thinking in stressful situations so you can think and not just react.

It is not okay to seek revenge just because you have been bullied. It is not okay to hurt yourself because you have been bullied. You are priceless. You are unique. There will never be another just like you. You are loved. You are important. You are needed in this time and space. That is why you are here. You bring to this world something no one else can. Believe in your purpose and stop letting others hurt you. You’re better than that. You’re bigger than that.

Bullying doesn’t kill you it just hurts for a moment and then you can move on. You can do hard things and getting over bullying is a simple thing.

This past week in my daily devotional, I’ve been studying scriptures about God’s ability to make all things possible. Psalm 119:50 “Your word has given me life.” I have found when I do what God asks me to and leave the rest with Him my life is so much easier. Now when I get stressed or scared, I remind myself that God is taking care of it. I focus on what I want, take inspired action, and let God work His magic.

“If you have faith, and don’t doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:21, 22 (NIV) I must confess. I still doubt from time to time and I wish God would let me know His timeline. It is in those moments I remind myself God is bigger than all the evil and pain in this world. He is bigger than my worries. He created the world. He can do anything.

I am not the same person I was four years ago or even a day ago. Every day my faith and belief grows and I am more peaceful and relaxed. Every day I turn to God in prayer for guidance and support. “God who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 God can heal the problems of our world.

I was asked the other day how would I make changes to our country. I replied, “Bring God back.” Passing more laws will not stop crime. Rising up against the cops will not stop crime. We cannot stop the horrors of this world. Only prayer, faith, and inspired action in God will change our earth for the better.

Don’t be afraid of what might come. Lift your eyes up to God. Read His heartfelt message to you and take action on it. That is how you change the future.

Thank you for joining me again.

Have a blessed day and live bully free,

Declaration of Interdependence

By BJ Gallagher, Lisa Hammond and Warren Schmidt

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident:

That all women are created equal –

But each is blessed with different gifts and talents.

That all women are endowed with certain individual rights –

But each must assume shared responsibilities.

For the happiness of all

Depends on the commitment of each

To support equality and individuality,

Rights and responsibilities.

We declare all women to be mutually interdependent-

Banding together to support one another,

Sharing our experience, strength, and hope,

That all may enjoy life, love, and the pursuit of laughter.

We agree to encourage one another in touch times and celebrate in good times.

We commit to taking turns leading and following, inspiring and teaching, listening and learning.

We agree to give credit where credit is due –

Including us.

We commit to loving ourselves first-

Because we can’t give what we don’t have.

With this Declaration of Interdependence, we set ourselves free –

Free from old beliefs that are no longer true,

Free from self-doubt, insecurity, and loneliness,

Free from self-imposed perfectionism.

We set ourselves free –

Heeding our intuition in all her guises,

Loving our bodies through every change,

Finding our voices to speak our own truths.

We set ourselves free –

To create fulfilling work,

To form nutruing families,

And to build great friendships.

We are strong;

We are beautiful;

We are generous;

We are wise.

We are women –

Committed to creating

A world that affirms us all.

I recently had a very difficult decision to make. I constantly tell people how important family is to me but sometimes my actions don’t support that.

We have been planning a family trip to Hawaii since November 2015. My mom took our family for Erin’s graduation in 2008. She set the standard and I’m glad she did.

My mother’s health has declined significantly and will not be able to travel with us. Money is very tight and we have past due invoices. For the last few months, we have been hoping for the transportation rates to come up or my training business to make a bunch of money. It hasn’t happened yet.

The trip is paid for other than expenses while we’re there.

I have been debating not going because of financial reasons. Then my business coach asked me what my priorities are. “Family first. That is why I designed my business the way I did. It is a FAMILY business. My family works and travels with me when they choose to.” I said. Coach Trudy (aka. Best Coach Ever), “Then act like it.”

I spent some time thinking about this. If I don’t take my family on this trip now, it is saying “Kids I love you but paying bills is more important. I know this may be the last family trip we can all go on but you just need to understand.” I know they would one more time. They have been so supportive. Everyone of them has gone without many things so we could build this incredible life saving program to help others.

We have spent a GREAT deal of money, time, frustration, and growth experiences getting Bully Proofing You up and running. Everyone has helped me and supported me in so many ways. God has helped me and supported me as well. He has made it possible for us to take this family trip and we are going.

We have a rental property up for sale and I know it will sale soon. We will be able to pay those we owe with the capital from the sale. I was hoping it would close before we left. No such luck. However, all the other issues have be resolved by the grace of God. The things He has made happen over the past week to make sure we can go are miracles.  Yes, God still performs miracles.

If you are struggling, have faith in God and ask for His help. Then take inspired action. (You must do your part.) Keep moving forward, having faith, asking God, and you will be amazed at what happens.

The photo is from our trip with Mom right before Christmas. I never would have believed it would be her last trip with us. You never know how long you have with those you love.

Max leaves next month for college and a career in basketball. Erin has already moved out. Hawaii here we come to celebrate life, love, family, and God’s amazing grace.

Have a blessed day and dream BIG,

Land-lording

The last few days I’ve been working on our rental units. I’ve replaced a toilet, a sink faucet, and fixed a swamp cooler. All in the pursuit of our mission – To provide nice affordable housing to others.

I enjoy the work because I can see my progress. It’s either works or it doesn’t. I never have to guess.

Sometimes making your dreams come true is not that easy. You work and work but you don’t always see the benefits right away. In fact, it may be years before you see any measurable results.

It is so great to see things going the way I want with my Bully Proofing You business. It is easy to “keep the faith” when things are going my way. When they’re not? I look to two passages.

The first Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the planes I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Many times I have turned to this and other Bible texts to keep my faith strong and my actions moving forward. The second “Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.” Hasidic Saying

I also have a library full of books I turn to.

If you find yourself unsure of which way to turn, check in with your higher power. Be still and listen to the answer. Then take action. Follow these steps and you will find your dream coming true.

We need more people living their dreams.

Have a blessed day,

“The Calf Path”
by Samuel Walter Foss (1858-1911)

I. One day, through the primeval wood, A calf walked home, as good calves should; II. But made a trail all bent askew, A crooked trail as all calves do. Since then three hundred years have fled, And, I infer, the calf is dead. But still he left behind his trail, And thereby hangs my moral tale. The trail was taken up next day, By a lone dog that passed that way. And then a wise bell-weather sheep, Pursued the trail o’er vale and steep; And drew the flock behind him too, As good bell-weathers always do. And from that day, o’er hill and glade. Through those old woods a path was made. III. And many men wound in and out, And dodged, and turned, and bent about; And uttered words of righteous wrath, Because ’twas such a crooked path. But still they followed – do not laugh – The first migrations of that calf. And through this winding wood-way stalked, Because he wobbled when he walked. IV. This forest path became a lane, that bent, and turned, and turned again. This crooked lane became a road, Where many a poor horse with his load, Toiled on beneath the burning sun, And traveled some three miles in one. And thus a century and a half, They trod the footsteps of that calf.

V. The years passed on in swiftness fleet, The road became a village street; And this, before men were aware, A city’s crowded thoroughfare; And soon the central street was this, Of a renowned metropolis; And men two centuries and a half, Trod in the footsteps of that calf. VI. Each day a hundred thousand rout, Followed the zigzag calf about; And o’er his crooked journey went, The traffic of a continent. A Hundred thousand men were led, By one calf near three centuries dead. They followed still his crooked way, And lost one hundred years a day; For thus such reverence is lent, To well established precedent. VII. A moral lesson this might teach, Were I ordained and called to preach; For men are prone to go it blind, Along the calf-paths of the mind; And work away from sun to sun, To do what other men have done. They follow in the beaten track, And out and in, and forth and back, And still their devious course pursue, To keep the path that others do. They keep the path a sacred groove, Along which all their lives they move. But how the wise old wood gods laugh, Who saw the first primeval calf! Ah! many things this tale might teach – But I am not ordained to preach.

Why would anyone shoot innocent unarmed people? Because, they do not see the victims as human. Because, the angry perpetrator has so much pain and hate. Because, he thinks it’s the only way to eradicate what he sees as wrong.

The Lord, in all His glory, made us with a built in safety mechanism. We cannot hurt another human. When you see a person, you feel love. When you see an object, you can hurt and hate.

“Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Mathew 22:39 Only works if you love yourself first. Personal value is so low in most people. They would never think of loving someone else because they never thought of loving themselves first. Be kind to yourself and others. It’s time to tame the bully between your ears and live life bully free.

Take a moment and think of someone you love. Really feel your love for this person. A pet will also work in this instance. Let your love for them fill your heart. When you are filled with love, there is no pain. There is no hate. There is hope for the future. Focus on the love. Nothing else. Could you hurt someone when you are feeling love? No, you have to shift out of love to do harm to yourself or anyone else.

Pain, hate, hopelessness, and the absence of love are the reasons why we have violence, abuse, war, and murder. The next time you want to lash out at someone find the place in your heart that holds your love. I think Jimmy Fallon said it beautifully during Sunday night’s Tonight Show.

When we come from love, we can hold space for other’s beliefs. We can talk about our differences and live and let live. There is no need to clone ourselves. In fact, that would make life very difficult. Everyone would want the same job, the same spouse, eat at the same places, leave for work at the same time. Gives an entire new perspective to rush hour traffic doesn’t it?

The only way to change something is with love and curiosity. Hold love in your heart for others. Get curious about their beliefs and why they believe so. Value their opinion. Value their freedom to choose. Value their life. Know that you are valuable and so are others.

Make the decision to increase your personal value so others have more value. Raise your standards and integrity. Believe in your dreams and hold yourself accountable for the course of your life. Be glad there is diversity in this world; because, without diversity life would be very boring.

Look for the good in people. There is the potential for good decisions and there is the potential for bad decisions in every person. The great thing about that is bad decisions can be followed by good. The heartfelt love and support for the fallen has helped the grieving process and set us on the path to forgiveness.

I invite you to turn on your heart light today for those around you. Shine love into every dark place so we as a nation can heal.

Master the science of communication, negotiation, and closing more sales. B.A.N.K. TM is a reverse-engineered personality profiling system designed to dramatically improve your communication, accelerate your negotiations, and close more sales! In sales, it’s all about giving your prospects what they want and leaving the rest out.
Les Brown says, “B.A.N.K. TM is a game changer for every entrepreneur and sales professional. This system will strengthen your confidence, expand your selling skills, and dramatically increase your income.”
So many people are trying to solve the gap problem between the income earners and the income takers. I think Cheri Tree, Esther Wildenberg, and Jenny Luetkemeyer have solved this problem by creating a life changing revolutionary program that can lift this world to a new level of improved communication, increasing sales, and ameliorated relationships.
It goes back to that time tested adage of teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. The program Cheri founded and Jenny helped bring to the world stage has change lives in over 40 countries. You can read about the awe-inspiring changes at www.bankcode.com.
Esther Wildenberg was introduced to B.A.N.K. TM in the Netherlands and immediately saw the benefits to using the program. She implemented the fast easy to use process to explode her sales income by $40,000 in four days. She then presented the information to some friends and family in her home and helped them as well as herself. By the end of her first week, she had brought in $75,000 in additional income.
B.A.N.K. TM is “a game changer” because;
1. It’s so simple and easy to use.
2. It’s quickly implemented, 90 seconds, and accurate.
3. It’s about the other person and understanding them.
4. It improves communication in all areas of life.
5. It’s proven by San Francisco State University that B.A.N.K. TM predicts buying behavior.
6. It teaches you how to fish so you can feed yourself and your family for a lifetime.
With so many people struggling financially, you owe it to yourself and your family to find out more about this incredible program. This is a chance for you to improve your skills. You have a product or service you are providing or want to provide because you feel it will make people’s lives better. That is what being an entrepreneur is all about. It’s about finding a need and filling it. B.A.N.K. TM can help you reach sales velocity so you don’t crash and burn in your first few years.
B.A.N.K.TM is about understanding your prospect better and how you can serve them better in 90 seconds or less. Most personality profiling helps you understand you better and takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour to answer multiple choice questions about yourself. Then hours to weeks to get the results back. B.A.N.K. TM is designed to help you understand the person you are trying to serve with superior results.
Let me show you how it is done online. Click the link and play the B.A.N.K. game.  You read the cards and then drag and drop them in the order most like you. It will then send you an in depth report to your email inbox explaining what the cards mean to you. You can also share this link with friends and family. It will help you understand each other better and why you behave and think the way you do.
The Mission of B.A.N.K. TM is “one world one language”. When you understand others better you can communicate with them and conflict is reduced. I use this powerful information in my Bully Proofing You business not only to book engagements but to also help families, schools, and workplaces communicate with ease and grace.
I love to see businesses succeed and prosper. This tremendous country was founded on those principles. Here is a hand up for the little guy that has poured his or her heart and soul into their new business wanting desperately to make a go of it. It means the world to you when your dreams come true. The world needs more achievers and B.A.N.K. TM will help you get there.

Why do some people flourish in adversity while others flounder? Why do some people get to live while others die? Why is there a circle of life and not a line that goes on forever?

This Memorial Weekend I want you to think about those that have gone before and the lessons you can learn from them. In my time in the service, I was never called to war and because of that for a long time I didn’t consider myself a veteran.

My husband explained to me, “Going to war doesn’t make you a veteran. Raising your hand when you are called does. You did that. You are a veteran.” It shifted my perspective.

Then I started wondering about those that had fallen securing my freedom and those that had lived. Which is worse? I have no idea. I know some of my friends are lost because they feel guilt for living. Because of the horrendous things they were subjected to on a daily basis.

I know there are movies depicting such things. I also know the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is made up and what is real. However, the conscious mind does. Your emotional mind knows that your friend is no longer walking the path in front of you; That they have just been vaporized for real. It’s not a movie. It’s real life.

Why am I left when they are dead? Why am I okay? Why was I spared? Because, you were. It doesn’t mean you’re better than them. It doesn’t mean you have a higher purpose, or you are more valuable. It just means you better find out your purpose and live it every day.

Stop taking your life for granted. Start living every day to its fullest. Get in touch with your higher power and make sure you are on track for what He has planned for you. The lives of the fallen were not wasted.  They paid the ultimate price so you and others like you could live. Make sure you live it.

I think the picture shows a very poignant visual analogy of this. As I was driving back from an engagement in Las Vegas; like I do frequently, I noticed these trees. I’ve driven by them many times but this time it hit me. I had to stop and take a picture.

A fire raged through here and devastated so much of the landscape. In fact, Laurence and I were on the way back from Vegas when it was burning some years ago.

My question for you is, why did some of the trees burn to ash? Why did some of them burn and become shells of their former selves? Why were some scorched and then recovered? I’m not sure of your answer but I know what mine is.

You see, a few of these trees lived through the devastation and today they are thriving. This shows me that I must live every day to its fullest because I can. Because God gave me one more moment to become the person He sees in me and I must keep striving to live into His vision of me.

Thank you for joining me again on this beautiful day.

You are blessed. Today, be aware of it.

Have an incredible day and live bully free,

Bullying is a global problem but the solution is individual. Did you know it starts with you and how you control your thoughts?

I’m sure you have heard, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” It is mentioned many times in the bible and by parents trying to teach their children a valuable life lesson.

It is also the source of much pain. It is how personal value is lost. Many kind loving people trying to do the right thing put others before themselves. They love their neighbor more than themselves.

I’m not talking about ego here or saying you’re better than everyone. Quite the contrary. I’m saying you say things to yourself you would never dream of saying to someone else. Why? You value their opinion of you. You’re not sure how they would react. You want to be nice. You care about others. There are many more but you get the idea.

Think back over the last week. How many times did you call yourself a bad name or put yourself down? How many times did you put yourself last to make sure others were taken care of? If you’re not sure, keep track this week. Carry a small notebook or sheet of paper with you and every time you saying something not very nice to yourself write what you said and your emotional sate down on the paper. At the end of the day read over them and summarize your thoughts and feelings about what you have said.

When you are happy and feeling good, you say happy things to yourself and others. It is only when you are mad or upset, that the ability to bully comes in. Humans have a built in safety mechanism. A human cannot hurt another human.

I can hear you now saying, “But Jeanie, people hurt people all the time.” No, they don’t. They hurt objects. When you dehumanize, you can hurt. When call someone a bit*@ or any number of unsavory names, you dehumanize. They are no longer human and you can hurt them.

History is full of horrifying examples of what humans can do to objects they have dehumanized. Your workplace, your community, your school, your house, and maybe even your life has examples of what happens when you forget the value of a human.

I want you to know. You are loved. You are valuable. You are needed in this time and space. You have a mission that only you can fulfill. No one else has the ability to do what you can do. No one else can reach the people you need to reach.

It is time to stop bulling yourself. It is time to tame the bully between your ears and start loving yourself. When you show love to yourself you are more likely to show it to others. When you value your life, you value the lives of others.

I invite you to start today. I invite you to start loving yourself more. I invite you to start valuing yourself more. I invite you to love others as yourself. I invite you to see the humans you interact with every moment of the day.

No one is on the roads is trying to piss you off. They’re just trying to get where they are going just like you. They have a family that loves them just like you. They have hopes and dreams just like you.

Everyone is valuable. Yes, even you and everyone you know. Start treating them so. Today make the world a better place starting with the voice inside your head.

On my way back from Las Vegas Monday, I had the privilege of stopping at the Chevron in Beaver, UT. The one with Lilly Tomlin’s big rocking chair our front. Jed came out to pump my fuel. I didn’t think any stations still did that. He informed me that, “Dad is old school. We’ve been pumping everyone’s fuel for 35 years and we’ll keep doing as long as we can.”

Not only do they pump your fuel, but they also wash your window and check out your tires. The latter one is the part that might have saved my life. I knew my back tires were getting bald but hadn’t checked them for a few weeks. I believe the Lord timed my drive perfectly so I would stop there to fill up.

When I came out from using the restroom, Jed informed me that my tire was coming apart. It was so bad I told him my guardian angel was working overtime on that one. They had a new tire in stock and gave me a better deal than Costco in Lehi could so I got two.

As I was waiting in the DQ, I got a dilly bar and though of my dad and brother. When we were little, my dad would come home from work; load us up in our red wagon and walk down to the local DQ for a Dilly Bar. I enjoyed that Dilly Bar as I thought about having a blow out at 80 mph with the other back tire bald. I really enjoyed it!

God is so good. He knew what I needed and supplied it before I even asked. I’m so grateful I made it home safely.

Today and every day thank God for getting you were you want to go safely. If you get pissed when you don’t; be thankful when you do.

Thanks for joining me again today.

Have a paradigm shifting day and live limitless,

Do I have to go to school today? That is a question parents are asked every morning. My answer was always, “Yes, it is what you need to make sure you have a better future.” Now, not so much. Our education system is failing us. It is antiquated and teaching our children the wrong things. Most of the curriculum was replaced as soon as you could say, “Hey Google.”

All across America parents are choosing to home school their children. The top three states for home schooling numbers are California, Texas, and North Carolina. The reasons cited for home schooling are numerous and varied. Some say safety, some say quality of education, some say environment. Whatever the reason more and more parents are choosing home schooling.

As a former high school educator, I agree with this trend. For far too long we have relied on the government to tell us what is best for our children and what they need to learn. The curriculum and systems currently being taught in our schools are designed to help people fill much needed factory jobs. It is helping them get ready for jobs that no longer exist. Why? I don’t know either.

We need a strong, analytical populous to run this country. We need people that can think and problem solve. We need everyone to make a decision and take responsibility for that decision and accept the consequences. We need people that can look to the future and create a better world.

To continue reading click here